Pages

Friday, January 16, 2015

The 7 1/2 Habits of Highly Successful English Majors*: A Continuation of the Habits Discussion

*Correction from the Editor: Grammar Nazi Nerd People with whom it is Impossible to Live

Habit 1: Read everything.

Read the syllabus. Read it again. Pore through it. Investigate the syllabus not only for sense and due dates but for grammatical clarity. Read every assigned reading, investing yourself fully in the topic for better understanding. If you are feeling ambitious, read the extra reading. If you don’t care about sleep, look up extra readings on your own online, in databases, and at the library. Your favorite hobbies should include reading. It doesn’t matter what you read—you can read comic books, graphic novels, essays, newspaper articles, journal articles, blogs, novels, nonfiction books, children’s books, anything with a medal attached to it, and so on and so forth. The main rule of thumb is the more [books you read], the merrier [you and your professors will be]! Also buy books on a regular basis.

Habit 2: Highlight and make extensive notes on everything.

Mark on the syllabus with pencils, pens, and highlighters. Write in your textbook(s) with the same. Invest in sticky notes, notebooks, notecards, pencils, erasers, pens, fine-tip Sharpies, legal pads, copy paper, mini-notebooks, and those little note pads that are kind of like large sticky notes without the stickiness. Use all of these tools regularly.  

Habit 3: Carry the above tools and a book with you at all times. No Exceptions.

If you are a woman, buy an extra-large purse/bag and a pencil case so that you can carry one or two books, twenty pencils, a pad of paper, sticky notes, a highlighter, two pens, and two Sharpies at all times in case of emergencies. Men, you may have to be more creative. Maybe stick five pens in your pocket and secrete other tools in your jacket as needed. Briefcases are also a viable option.

Habit 4: Write in your spare time.

What spare time? Oh, that spare time—right between my spare tire and that unexplained lime in the back seat. Anyway, write in your journal. Write book reviews. Write blog posts. Write analytical essays for fun. Doodle in your notebook. Jot down notes about anything and everything. Scribble ideas for the Great American Novel on a sticky note (refer to Habits 2 and 3). Write on your calendar. Write in the margins of the textbook/article/novel that you are currently reading. Write lengthy posts on Facebook. Tweet smaller posts on Twitter. Write.

Habit 5: Study grammar devotedly and become an expert.

Become an expert on comma usage. Develop a firm and unyielding opinion about the Oxford Comma and The Comma That Must Not Be Named. Make a vow in a dark room at midnight with a ring of candles around you that you will wage war on the dreaded comma splice until it is eradicated from the face of the earth. Understand the correct usage of the sentence fragment (hahahaha!). Read Eats, Shoots and Leaves and recommend it to all of your friends, family, acquaintances, and enemies.

Habit 6: Obsessively analyze everything.

It doesn’t matter if it is a professionally made video, a published book, a journal article, a YouTube video, a newspaper post, or a blog. No matter how you experience something, always analyze it. Is it well researched? Is it well written/produced? If it is a movie, how well does it follow the book and where does it deviate? Are the deviations bad or good? (Answer: Deviations should almost always be expunged from your memory.) How is it organized? If it is written, does the author ever use alliteration, assonance, figures of speech, or other literary devices? If it is a song, what is the rhyme scheme and how well does it fit? What meter and rhythm is the poem or song? What sort of rhyme does the song/poem use?

Habit 7: Study logic, Greek, and Latin.

Logic is an essential tool for everyone, but if you are an English major, all of your essays will demand at least a smidgen of logical thought. You can get relatively short logic courses and take them on your own to get ahead! (If you studied grammar on your own, you can study logic on your own.) As far as Greek and Latin go, if you don’t want to learn the languages, at least learn some of the root words. If you are feeling ambitious, also study some of the other languages that are related to English.

Habit 7.5: Appreciate puns and wordplay.

All wordplay, if done in good taste, is hilarious. This is true almost without exception. Furthermore, the best games are word games. Such games include Scrabble, Boggle, crossword puzzles, Scrabble Slam, Pathwords, Word Search, and related games.

No comments:

Post a Comment